December 31 – recipe for failure
Today is THAT day.
The day where you get to look back over the year and emotionally beat yourself up.
Tell yourself you’re a failure and a f*k up because once again you didn’t ‘drop that weight’, ‘do that course’, ‘end that relationship’, ‘save that money’ or ‘do that super awesome thing you told everyone about but quietly didn’t do’.
And where you can spend a minute in the moment at midnight and make up some BS resolution that you KNOW will likely come unstuck tomorrow when
1 – you can’t remember what your resolution was
2 – realise just how much work it really will take to achieve the resolution (more than the 30 second kiss that you got from some stranger – or loved one).
So, do you:
A – continue to set resolutions with absolutely no belief or intention of achieving?
B – avoid the New Years thing all together and sit on the couch drinking yourself silly watching Bridget Jones Diary AGAIN?
C – find a better way?
(You picked C, Rock on!)
First, let’s look at the meaning of ‘resolution’.
‘A firm decision to do or not do something’
If you’ve been like me in the past and made a resolution in those final 3 seconds before the fireworks, your decisions are likely to not be that firm. You’re probably more worried about downing that last ‘free’ drink in your exorbitant event package, or decide if you’ll turn left or right first to grab the New Years kiss, or ponder once again if this will be the night your Man proposes – so cliche! Am I right?!
So how do we make this less painful and more likely for success?
1 – don’t make a New Years resolution. (There, I said it)
WTF you say?!
You DO NOT need an NYE party to decide to do or not do something.
What would serve you better is to spend some time with yourself (at any point in the year) to evaluate
where you were,
where you are now, and
where you want to be in every area of your life.
Get a pen and paper and put these words down the left hand side
Rate them on a scale of 1-10 at this very point in time.
1 = let’s not talk about it
10 = freakn fantastic
Now take a different coloured pen and rate how you would like those areas of life to be 365 days from now.
What are you noticing?
Now on another piece of paper write
Relationships (this is family, friends and loved one/s)
Rate each of these areas on scale of 1-10 reflecting on how they are right now.
Now take another coloured pen and rate how you would like these areas to be 365 days from now.
What did you notice?
Ok that’s great Fiona, numbers on a page but what the heck does this have to do with anything?
Right now we’re doing a stocktake so you can visually see how life lines up for you. So often we go through days, months and even years thinking we have balance and focus on what we want, but when we do this exercise we start to see the ‘real’ imbalances.
Wanting, wishing and waiting for what we want gets us nowhere so it’s time to start putting in place an action plan.
In each category, identify 3 things you would like to achieve over the next 365 days. If you can only get 1 in each area don’t panic, it’s a great start and you will find as you progress through the activity that you might identify something else to add to your list.
Allow your mind to run free, without limitations. Consider thinking this
•If money was no barrier, I would….(and articulate what you would achieve).
(Nothing is off limits here but it HAS to be what YOU want to achieve, not what someone else said you should achieve).
You have two options now.
1 – you can stick this somewhere that you will see it each day (bathroom mirror, toilet door, fridge, even at your desk) and leave it at that, just reviewing it each day to remind you what you are aiming for
2 – you can take it next level and map out the action steps to nail your goals.
For each area of life and the goals, consider:
What am I prepared to do to achieve this?
What’s my level of commitment? (time/money/energy)
What knowledge do I need to gain?
Who has achieved this goal and could assist me?
What do I need to believe in myself to achieve this?
When would I achieve this by? (Some goals you will achieve in a short period of time, others may take longer. Knowing this will help you plan out as starting everything at the same time is a recipe for disaster and burnout)
GO (literally that’s it – move, go, do)
Start the focused action to achieve your goals.
Just small daily incremental steps/actions/habits
Review and acknowledge yourself and your progress (I find setting aside a little time at the end of each month to review and celebrate gives you renewed energy and focus for the next month).
Speak as though you have already achieved your goals so the unconscious mind knows your intentions.
Ask for help if you go a little off course. You’ll find many have been before you and encountered a challenge somewhere so rather than sitting in a funk, reach out and move your funk so you can continue making progress.
You don’t need a NEW YEAR to set your intentions, get focused and take action. You can do this powerful activity ANY day of the year towards creating the Life You Love and discovering your BEST SELF.
Wishing you the BEST year ahead, a year of kicking arse, loving life and shining brightly!